And you find some way to survive/ And you find out you don't have to be happy at all/ To be happy you're alive

A few weeks ago I won an iPad. This was very unexpected, since a) it's rather a nice thing to win, b) the odds were not in my favor (five winners out of several thousand options), and c) I didn't actually know I was in the running to win it.

I would add that I never win anything, but actually that's not true. I just tend to win really ridiculous things. For example, one time in college I won a door prize that was $200 worth of make-up (this weird make-up from a brand no one has ever heard of). Now, I never ever wear make-up, so this was rather pointless. It's also hard to re-gift, since it seems like you are expressing an opinion of someone's appearance if you give them $200 worth of make-up. Sigh.

Anyway, iPad. Yay! Probably the best thing I've ever won. I named it Lloyd, obviously. I'm very fond of it; I'd never buy myself a tablet/eReader, but it's lovely to have one. That said, it's made me feel like a bit of a Luddite, which is sad because my job technically involves being proficient with technology and keeping up with innovation, etc.

My iPad challenge has centered on how irritating it has been to get it to work as an eReader with DCPL. First I had to download an app, then I had to convince the library to recognize my login, then I had to find a book on the list available as an eBook (and not a book on tape), then I had to convince the library to again recognize my login, then I had to download something from Adobe that involved resetting a password I don't remember having at all (which was painful), and then I had to log back into the library, and re-find the book and re-log into Adobe. For one book. That's a stupid system. No wonder no one reads anymore.

You're good at hiding your feelings, aren't you?

Recently I was reminded of the existence of this little blog. Poor neglected little blog; another stellar example of why my poor giga pet was doomed/of my poor attention span. It's been about nine months since I posted here, and about a year since this blog went off the rails a bit (more than is evident now; I took several posts down).

What have we been up to in all that time? Not all that much. We hit the 500 mark; we went to Puerto Rico and the Czech Republic; we fell even harder for trapeze and aerial; we were reminded several times that life is basically a stream of good-byes; we survived a crazy year professionally; we performed in four trapeze shows.

I'm definitely not going to try to catch up on all the books that I've missed. That's just a recipe for failure. This also may be my last post here. Things are just so busy that even reading feels like a triumph sometimes.

Maybe I should turn this into a more general blog. I could do an outfit a day thing or something. I still aspire to be a lifestyle blogger, but again, my life seriously lacks style. And home-cooked meals, a tastefully decorated apartment, and an adorable toddler, all of which seem pretty important to lifestyle blogging.

I did want to reflect on four and a half years of doing this project. It's crazy to think about in some ways. I almost feel more overwhelmed now than I did at first. Yes we've past the half-way mark, but there are still so, so, so many to go! It feels less like a hobby/project even, and more like just this constant part of my life. It's not even a conversation piece anymore.

I never thought our worlds would part, but growing came so naturally

What is wrong with you? No seriously, what is wrong with you? Such a fair question. I don't really have a great answer. I have been reading! I really have. I actually even had a few ideas for posts. My only justification is that I am stretched a bit thin at the moment (yes, I admit, my pace is slightly down in 2013).

I moved again, because that is one of my favorite activities. That whole process has been taking some time. Work has been a bit frenetic. I'm still obsessed with trapeze. It all adds up. But I will do better.




Someone recently asked me what the point of this blog is, which is really rather fair, since lately it's all been trapeze pics and a random rainbow dance video that you can't see unless  you are part of an invite only Facebook group. We have gone far afield, and it's rather time to come back.

In the meantime, I've had some awkward encounters! I should say they aren't all awkward. I was recently on a phone call with a friend, and he brought up the project, and it wasn't awkward at all. Credit probably more on him than me.

That said, I did have a super awkward encounter recently where I had to explain the project to three people after a fourth brought it up. It was so awkward. So clearly the one was a fluke. I'm still very awkward.