I'm not sure whether Stephanie would approve or not

Today, I paid a visit to my neighborhood library. I was long overdue to pay such a call, and it was nice to reunite like this. I paid this visit to get books, of course, but there were two other factors driving my call. You see, one rather fortunate timing coincidence is that each year as I resolve to do better with the list project, I also get re-motivated to use the library for a completely unrelated reason: I get my W-2 form.

Now, I am not one of those people who opposes taxes. I'm all for the safety net, I think that one of the great failings of humanity is that in a time of such excess there can be such need, I don't think that privatization and deregulation are always the answer, etc. So in theory, don't oppose taxes. In practice, definitely resent them. To help get over my resentment, annually I vow to get the most out of my tax dollars and break even somehow. I'm pretty sure I've always been a net gain for the government, which is largely my parents' fault (though for a reason I'm always grateful for, so...).

When I first moved to DC, I thought "YES! Public transit is the way I will milk the system!" The joke was on me, though. WMATA managed to be so terrible so consistently that basically it is a punishment, not a perk (I never thought I'd be that girl who seriously contemplates, "Metro or Uber?"; life-style creep is real, y'all). Thus, I'm left with the library.

It's a bit challenging, though, to get my money's worth. I seem to have paid about $10,000 in taxes this year (that's a lot) (I may be reading my W-2 wrong) (I really hope I get a refund). If we assume about $7.5 per book (used bookstores, Project Gutenberg, Dover Thrift, etc. bringing it down), that's 1,333.3333 books to break even. I'm sure that you noticed that is sort of past my whole project goal, as it were. I need to find another way.

Now, I'm sure you are wondering how the visit went. Pretty well, I'd say! Monday is, in my opinion, a great day to visit the library since it is the day they are open late, and thus the day I can actually, you know, visit the library.

Though, as I walked in I had to pass a tiny little 20-something librarian yelling at four much bigger teenage guys about their refusal to stop eating candy in the library. I, of course, am on her side: I want a candy-free library as much as the next person, and for multiple reasons I identify with her and not them (I am much more likely to be on the side of impotently trying to enforce arbitrary rules than blatantly and obnoxiously defying them). That said, however, honey, you really lose a lot of your authority when you start screaming in a high-pitched voice to the other librarian about it.

This random, stream-of-consciousness post is brought to you by lonely winter nights when Josh isn't here to entertain me.

I am the one who held you/ I am the one who cried/ I am the one who watched while you died.

I know that I pledged to do better this year, but I must confess that we're not off to a great start. I should be at five books for this year, and I'm only at two. I sort of blame the library on this; I've tried to put a bunch on hold, but none have come in yet. Federal holidays, snow days (seriously, DC, seriously? You are pathetic), etc. have hindered me a bit. I'm reaching the point where I need to be pretty organized about getting books. I'm running out of the easy ones to find.

Sadly, I don't have too much to say about either Bel-Ami or Rob Roy. I did find Rob Roy to be educational, at least. I learned lots about Scottish history and reminded myself about the whole Hanover/Stuart progression with the British Monarchy. The stuff I've forgotten about the British Monarchy (mostly around Richard III, now that I think of it). Bel-Ami, I don't have much to say. I read it after reading a New Yorker article about Roger Ailes (yes, yes, yes, I know: never buy the New Yorker when you are behind on the list), and I felt like there should be some interesting comparisons to make, but mostly I thought Bel-Ami was sort of dull.

I've also been reading this book about Boole and Shannon and the role of Boolean logic in electrical engineering. It was my airplane treat, and it was a lot of fun. And I may have re-read A Ring of Endless Light (and cried).

Oh, this post was boring, you say? Well, here's a picture of me doing static.

The memories are gone. The aftershocks live on/ But with nothing to remember, is there nothing left to grieve?

Shall we talk about 2013? I think it will go on the record as a good year. A stressful, busy, hectic, crazy, good year. Only if we look at my life as a whole, though (year of the amazing apartment, year of great professional growth and opportunities, year of flying higher and stronger with less fear, year of Josh moving in, year of other lovely developments). If we look at it in terms of the project, however, it was a pretty pathetic year. Let's be honest folks.

First, I only read 100 list books this year. I took nearly two months off from the project when I went through a re-reading kick (all the Mary Russel books, seriously; I have nothing to say for myself), a non-fiction kick, and a re-reading of my own writing (humbling and amusing, all at once). I didn't hit the 100th book for the year till December 23rd (Billy Bathgate, which overall I liked and seems like should have been made into a film staring Leonardo DiCaprio circa 20000; it was 538 for the project, which feels rather pathetic to write.

Second, I didn't read any of the crazy long ones this year. I just, didn't. I have nothing to say for myself about this, either. No A Dance to the Music of Time (2944 pgs),  no The Man Without Qualities (1824 pgs), no Uwe (1703 pgs).

So, here's to a better 2014: more books, longer books, keeping up the other good stuff, and as Marmee would say, fashioning my character. I guess that's what every year should be about, becoming a better version of you, at least in some way.