The memories are gone. The aftershocks live on/ But with nothing to remember, is there nothing left to grieve?

Shall we talk about 2013? I think it will go on the record as a good year. A stressful, busy, hectic, crazy, good year. Only if we look at my life as a whole, though (year of the amazing apartment, year of great professional growth and opportunities, year of flying higher and stronger with less fear, year of Josh moving in, year of other lovely developments). If we look at it in terms of the project, however, it was a pretty pathetic year. Let's be honest folks.

First, I only read 100 list books this year. I took nearly two months off from the project when I went through a re-reading kick (all the Mary Russel books, seriously; I have nothing to say for myself), a non-fiction kick, and a re-reading of my own writing (humbling and amusing, all at once). I didn't hit the 100th book for the year till December 23rd (Billy Bathgate, which overall I liked and seems like should have been made into a film staring Leonardo DiCaprio circa 20000; it was 538 for the project, which feels rather pathetic to write.

Second, I didn't read any of the crazy long ones this year. I just, didn't. I have nothing to say for myself about this, either. No A Dance to the Music of Time (2944 pgs),  no The Man Without Qualities (1824 pgs), no Uwe (1703 pgs).

So, here's to a better 2014: more books, longer books, keeping up the other good stuff, and as Marmee would say, fashioning my character. I guess that's what every year should be about, becoming a better version of you, at least in some way.

And you find some way to survive/ And you find out you don't have to be happy at all/ To be happy you're alive

A few weeks ago I won an iPad. This was very unexpected, since a) it's rather a nice thing to win, b) the odds were not in my favor (five winners out of several thousand options), and c) I didn't actually know I was in the running to win it.

I would add that I never win anything, but actually that's not true. I just tend to win really ridiculous things. For example, one time in college I won a door prize that was $200 worth of make-up (this weird make-up from a brand no one has ever heard of). Now, I never ever wear make-up, so this was rather pointless. It's also hard to re-gift, since it seems like you are expressing an opinion of someone's appearance if you give them $200 worth of make-up. Sigh.

Anyway, iPad. Yay! Probably the best thing I've ever won. I named it Lloyd, obviously. I'm very fond of it; I'd never buy myself a tablet/eReader, but it's lovely to have one. That said, it's made me feel like a bit of a Luddite, which is sad because my job technically involves being proficient with technology and keeping up with innovation, etc.

My iPad challenge has centered on how irritating it has been to get it to work as an eReader with DCPL. First I had to download an app, then I had to convince the library to recognize my login, then I had to find a book on the list available as an eBook (and not a book on tape), then I had to convince the library to again recognize my login, then I had to download something from Adobe that involved resetting a password I don't remember having at all (which was painful), and then I had to log back into the library, and re-find the book and re-log into Adobe. For one book. That's a stupid system. No wonder no one reads anymore.

You're good at hiding your feelings, aren't you?

Recently I was reminded of the existence of this little blog. Poor neglected little blog; another stellar example of why my poor giga pet was doomed/of my poor attention span. It's been about nine months since I posted here, and about a year since this blog went off the rails a bit (more than is evident now; I took several posts down).

What have we been up to in all that time? Not all that much. We hit the 500 mark; we went to Puerto Rico and the Czech Republic; we fell even harder for trapeze and aerial; we were reminded several times that life is basically a stream of good-byes; we survived a crazy year professionally; we performed in four trapeze shows.

I'm definitely not going to try to catch up on all the books that I've missed. That's just a recipe for failure. This also may be my last post here. Things are just so busy that even reading feels like a triumph sometimes.

Maybe I should turn this into a more general blog. I could do an outfit a day thing or something. I still aspire to be a lifestyle blogger, but again, my life seriously lacks style. And home-cooked meals, a tastefully decorated apartment, and an adorable toddler, all of which seem pretty important to lifestyle blogging.

I did want to reflect on four and a half years of doing this project. It's crazy to think about in some ways. I almost feel more overwhelmed now than I did at first. Yes we've past the half-way mark, but there are still so, so, so many to go! It feels less like a hobby/project even, and more like just this constant part of my life. It's not even a conversation piece anymore.

I never thought our worlds would part, but growing came so naturally

What is wrong with you? No seriously, what is wrong with you? Such a fair question. I don't really have a great answer. I have been reading! I really have. I actually even had a few ideas for posts. My only justification is that I am stretched a bit thin at the moment (yes, I admit, my pace is slightly down in 2013).

I moved again, because that is one of my favorite activities. That whole process has been taking some time. Work has been a bit frenetic. I'm still obsessed with trapeze. It all adds up. But I will do better.




Someone recently asked me what the point of this blog is, which is really rather fair, since lately it's all been trapeze pics and a random rainbow dance video that you can't see unless  you are part of an invite only Facebook group. We have gone far afield, and it's rather time to come back.

In the meantime, I've had some awkward encounters! I should say they aren't all awkward. I was recently on a phone call with a friend, and he brought up the project, and it wasn't awkward at all. Credit probably more on him than me.

That said, I did have a super awkward encounter recently where I had to explain the project to three people after a fourth brought it up. It was so awkward. So clearly the one was a fluke. I'm still very awkward.

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return

So, I apologize in advance, but I'm sort of obsessed.

Things I do not like about this video:

• Final position
• Take off could have been better
• Hand stuff on the sit

Up in the air I go flying again

Step one, climb ladder.

 

Step two, take off and do trick.

Step three, dismount.

And yes, I do realize this is supposed to be a blog about the list project. The thing is, it's been a long time since I've read one that I really hated, and those make the best fodder for posts.

Find a circus ring with a flying trapeze/ Tell me on a Sunday, please

A Prayer for Owen Meany is one that I liked in spite of myself. The plot did not sound appealing, and, of course, there is zero street cred to enjoying John Irving. Plus, we all remember how I felt about The Tin Drum.

And yet. And yet.

It was just rather a lot of fun, as it were. My favorite chapter was the one about Christmas. It was timely and sort of hilarious.

Anyway, I'd describe this one as very enjoyable. I suppose that there is room for a deeper literary analysis here, but once again, I'm not sure I'm especially interested in that. At all. I think I'll leave it at enjoying this one.

This is not the proper way to hold a cat

Ready is not a question

So, I just finished Libra. Sigh. At first, I was really excited about this book, since it had a plot! It's been so long since I've read a book with a real plot that was the main focus. I soon realized, though, that a plot may not be enough. As I described the book to someone, it makes me think of the sort of book that I would buy and read in an airport.

Since I don't really feel like writing about this book's literary merits, I thought I'd put the book in its historical context instead. Apparently it was published in 1989. One of the main things that happened in 1989 was that we acquired a pet cat. Yay! Seriously, I adored this cat.

Here are some fun pictures from 1989. I like the first one because I look demonic. I like the second one because he looks furious; I appear to be squishing him.

Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or You will be taught to fly