When you're ready, just say you're ready/ When all the baggage just ain't as heavy

Sometimes I worry that blogging is a very arrogant activity. Sure, I have thoughts and feelings and such, but what makes me think that anyone would be interested in reading about them? Fortunately, I don't actually think anyone reads this blog, so that more or less works itself out. I tend to briefly cycle through these stages of thinking this blog is sort of ridiculous to thinking that it sort of doesn't really matter.

Since I mostly write this for myself, you'd think it would be sort of a really honest presentation of myself. However, I'm very rarely fully open on this thing. I tend to only show one of my four main personality modes, which is my more manic/absurd version. This mode is probably the most amusing, but only a select few see it going IRL.

Then there is the me that I like, which is the one that I tend to use in professional contexts. It's the very competent, patient, confident, empathetic, nice me. This is sometimes more aspirational than not, but ah well.

Then there is the scary/dark/damaged me, which I'm not going to talk about here.

And finally, the me that most people experience, which is the guarded me with superficial friendliness while attempting to avoid telling you anything about me me (most people get this one and the second one in varying ratios depending on the context in which they know me; few get past them and even fewer get past them permanently).