Daddy never knew that you were on your way/ He had other ladies and other tunes to play

I've been reading Kokoro; I'm going to go out on a limb and say that most of you (hah) have never read of it and many haven't heard of it. It's worth checking out, I'd say (three stars?). It's sort of an idea work. I could write about a few different things, but for obvious reasons this exchange caught my eye and I want to talk about it:

"Why is it, Sensei, that you are not as interested in books as you once were?"
"There is no particular reason ... Well, perhaps it is because I have decided that no matter how many books I may read, I shall never be a very much better man than I am now."

Now, if you have undertaken a massive reading project, this would likely stand out as a thought-provoking passage. There's a number of ways to read this (as arrogant, as defeatist - which seems to be most accurate in the context of the novel -, as sort of zen/enlightenment, etc.) statement. I'm more interested in it, though, in the context of reflecting on my own little project here.

The statement implies that a main goal of reading is self-improvement in various ways. I suppose that could primarily be increased knowledge, but often the argument for reading fiction is that it makes you a better person, more empathetic or something. I don't know if I've improved at all as a person because of undertaking the list project (though I don't really think that I have; at least, not in ways dramatic or interesting), but I also do not really do it for self improvement.

That is not to say that I don't want to improve as a person, of course. I suppose that everyone does; or at least, I rather think that we all should. I tend to divide my improvement goals into two buckets.

The first is on the superficial side, and it's mostly around just living life in a way that seems better. For example, better meal planning, bringing salads for lunch, saving money and improving my retirement planning, cleaning more regularly and getting the apartment to be Apartment Therapy worthy, etc. From an actions = character perspective, that's all pretty important, I suppose.

The second is the more personal side; that is, the side about addressing all the ways in which I specifically am hopelessly flawed. That I suppose is a life journey, though.